Beloved
by puddinmartinez
Summary: Buffy is unsure of her feelings toward Spike. Spike doesn't want to be hurt anymore. Will Buffy get the courage to admit her true feelings?


**Alarm Clock Sounds Off**

"**Umph. Hmph… Why can't you have a softer ring….? You'd better be glad that I need you or I'd break you…" Buffy grumbled.**

"**Yelling at your alarm clock again I see." Willow smiled from the hall through Buffy's bedroom door.**

"**This damn thing always wakes me up right when my sex god of a dream man is fixing to kiss me." **

**Buffy pulled her pillow over her face and cried out in frustration when she remembered the bleach blonde that just so happened to be this sex god in her dreams.**

**Spike.**

"**Do you want some coffee? I've got some going downstairs, and Tara's making pancakes if you want some of those." Called Willow.**

"**I'm gunna hit the shower, I'll be out in a few!" yelled Buffy.**

**Why can't I stop thinking about Spike, maybe I'm just putting to much thought into this… Maybe I'll pick a fight later on, just to see if he's up to no good… Yeah, that's it. Only just to see, not cause I want him or anything... Oh, God. What's wrong with me? **

**MEANWHILE IN THE KITCHEN:**

"**Tara, Have you talked with Buff lately?" asked Willow curiously.**

"**Yeah I have, why?" Tara stared at Willow with her head tilted slightly, wondering what was going through this beautiful redheads mind.**

"**Just wondering, I've been trying hard you know. I know I messed up with my Will it be spell, and I know that if greatly affected Buffy. I just hope that in some way that she's not still upset y'know? Considering after the whole Spike ordeal…" Willow said while looking at her now burnt pancakes.**

"**I'm sure that she's fine Willow, I just think that she has a lot on her plate right now with college, the death of Joyce, and hello she's also the slayer... That's a lot to have on your shoulders." Said Tara waving the spatula around.**

"**Hey guys, anything new?" Buffy asked staring at Willow's burnt pancake.**

"**Nope, just fixing breakfast and hoping that Giles doesn't lecture me to bad about my spell usage as of late. But, for Tara I'm cutting back!" smiled Willow.**

"**That's good! Keeping it fresh!" giggled Buffy. "I'm proud of you Wills!" Buffy hugged her best friend and waved to the two obvious women who looked like they wanted some alone time!**

**SPIKE'S CRYPT:**

"**Bloody hell, Passion's, I completely forgot..." Spike fumed while grabbing some blood from his fridge.**

**Meanwhile on Passion's: Timmy fell down the well, Will he regain consciences and find a way out or will the Pratt's have a big surprise in store for them if they find him. Stay tuned!**

"**Damn commercials, I could've had warm blood by now..." complained Spike while sipping his cold blood.**

**Spike got up and hoped in his head that he would have time to warm up his blood in the microwave, but by that moment he heard a creaking coming from the crypt entrance. Yup he knew someone was definitely at the front door. Putting down his cup in the microwave, he clicked the door shut and began walking to the front door slowly not wanting any surprises being it was early in the morning. The last thing he wanted to be is a big pile of dust.**

"**Anyone there?" He called. "I don't want any bloody cookies if that's what you ponce's want!" He now shouted.**

**Wrapping a blanket around himself he slowly opened the door to see a slim figure with her back turned walking away from him.**

"**Buffy?" He called to her.**

**Slowly turning she looked at him for what may have seemed forever. Taking in his handsome features, she looked at the ground and then began walking back toward him.**

"**I'm sorry; I don't really know what I was thinking coming here..." Buffy admitted. What was she doing there? She began battling in her brain for a reason.**

"**Knock-knock love! Are you in there? He slowly let out, tilting his head slightly at her while smiling.**

"**Oh, um, sorry I'm not quite myself this morning. I have a lot on my mind." She flashed a smile and pointed to her head.**

"**That you do, pet. Are you thirsty? I've got some drinks, some brandy if you fancy it." Looking at her with concern she noticed and touched his hand saying, "Thank you, but I'm fine! I just ate with Wills and Tara."**

"**Ah, the naughty minxes! I bet we know what they're doing all alone in that house of yours..." He raised his right eyebrow up and down rather quickly and Buffy slapped him in the chest at such a though being put in her head.**

"**You're such a pig, Spike!" A sexy, but nasty pig she began thinking in her little head!**

"**Yeah, and you bloody love it don't you! Isn't that why you're here, pet?" He smiled knowing that he had just gotten under her skin, watching her get uneasy just drove him crazy with pleasure!**

"**I told you I don't know why I even came here; I just was walking around the cemetery and then realized I was close to you." She answered him trying not to fumble her words. **

"**Do you want to sit down?" Spike pointed to the folded up chair leaning on the wall behind his television. Clearly he hadn't used it in a while considering the cobwebs surrounding it.**

"**No thanks I'll be leaving shortly I guess. And, I really don't know why I'm still here." Buffy starred of into space beginning a new feud in her brain and arguing over the truth in why she really came; which she wasn't even sure of herself.**

"**I'm sorry for not being able to be a good host, vampire and all..." Looking around Spike seemed somewhat ashamed of his living situation, and living in a crypt wasn't a so much lovely idea to make your home.**

"**Its fine, sometimes I think I'd prefer a crypt just to get away from everything..." Buffy quickly let out.**

**Spike eyed her and said, "Oh, really? I can't imagine you all prettied up in a crypt." Looking at her knowing she was thinking of something to say back, he let it alone and walked over to his books and began slipping his fingers over the covers.**

**Maybe if I told him that I like him I can get the hell out of here and stop being so awkward... But then yet again maybe he won't believe me on my feelings because I've hurt him so many times and I'll get rejected? I'll just go with the flow and go from there. **

**--Is this chit off her bloody bird? Is she making up excuses to be here or keeping an eye on me? She seems kind of not all together today; maybe I should just go easy on her or send her on her merry way. Lord knows her friends can't catch her with "William the Bloody" damn wankers.—**

"**Maybe it's time for me to go now, huh?" Buffy finally said after breaking moments of silence.**

**Spike looked at her with sincerity and walked back towards Buffy putting one hand on her shoulder. The mere feel of her sending little chills up and down his spine.**

"**I can understand everything that you're going through, pet, and I know that your friends aren't making it any easier on you them being so bloody dependent on you. I just, I guess what I'm trying to say is do you need a break? If ever you just want to get away you're welcome to my posh abode!" Looking at her sincerely he went to the microwave and realized his blood was now cold again. Turning to talk to Buffy again Spike caught a glimpse of the television and a happily almost over show of "Passions" on the screen.**

"**Bloody fuckin hell, Passions, I forgot all about it!" He shouted running back to his chair to see what he missed.**

**Buffy began to laugh, "So much for our heart to undead heart talk huh!" Walking toward him she pulled out the disturbing cobwebbed chair and unstrung the webbing and sat down next to him.**

"**You know you really need to get a sofa!" she looked at him so intent on the television before him.**

**Reaching out and caressing his cheek taking in his handsome god-like features, he slowly looked down and then up at her. Pulling her hand back, she got up, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I need to go." Heading for the door Spike swiftly got up and grabbed her arm.**

"**Buffy, it's alright love it's just me." He smiled. **

"**That's the problem." She looked at him seriously.**

"**What do you mean by that? Oh, because I'm a monster, a right foul git, am I right? Is that it, aye?" The hurt expression on his face was too much for her to look at. And, actually being able to feel his hurt emotion was enough to break her heart.**

"**Please don't start I didn't mean it like that, you've done so much for me, Dawn and the scoobies. I just I don't know why I said that." Looking at him his hurt expression still clearly there but in a way the tension in the room began to become unnoticed.**

"**I'm gunna go, I'll see you tonight on patrol. Sorry to have disturbed you." Taking a few steps waiting to see if he had a reply, maybe hoping to pick a mini fight just to have a reason to stay...**

"**Of course, the usual kill or be killed scene, sure. I'll meet you outside here." He replied. "I guess you'll be on your merry way then, aye slayer?" **

**But unlike spike he just had to reply normally with not a tone in his voice. Buffy smiled, and turned to him before exiting his place.**

"**Yeah, Later then." She said while walking off closing the crypt door behind her.**

**MAGIC BOX: 12PM (NOON):**

"**Where is she, she's late." Giles repeated for the third time in 20 minutes while cleaning his glasses only to take them off and repeat the process. **

"**Maybe she's fighting some baddies?" Willow suggested. "I mean that's her job, obviously."**

"**Or maybe you two need to stop trying to think of what she's doing and try to make me some money!" Anya replied in a merry sarcastic tone.**

"**Hey guys!" Buffy said entering the Magic Box.**

"**Hey we were just wondering what kept you!" Willow perked up.**

"**I think obsessing is more like it!" Pitched in Anya from behind the register.**

"**Are you ready to begin studying on this new demon in town?" Yelled Giles from the other side of the store.**

"**Do I have to? I mean I thought we could go train or something?" Buffy remarked.**

"**Yes we do need to further train you, but I think it's safe to say that we should be better off with more information on this demon in town. I'm quite confident in your skill Buffy!" Giles smiled and adjusted his glasses yet again.**

"**Awww, Thank you Giles! That's a first!" Buffy beamed at being praised.**

**Ding, ding**

"**Hey guys, what did I miss?" asked Xander staring at all his smiling friends. He began walking over to Anya only to press a kiss to her forehead while she was counting the money in the register.**

"**Nothing much just looking up info on this new monster in town, can't say just yet though that we have anything. Wanna join in on the study crew?!" Buffy chimed.**

"**I think I'll pass for right now, reading doesn't feel like my style as of right now!" Xander smiled, and Buffy smacked him on the back of his head with the book she was currently reading and then placed it in Xander's hands.**

"**Ouch, you know if I were to smack you on the back of the head with a thick musky old book I think I would be unconscious!" He grinned playfully.**

"**And with that you are correct!" Walking off to put another book on the shelf she went through the next few volumes of texts Giles had on demons. "Ooh, I found a book with pictures!" Sitting down at the table with Willow, Wills began looking at the book with Buffy. **

**Scaly, Likes to suck the marrow from children's bones, and laps up the blood to drink... Yuck, can I say gross much... Hmmm. ejects a purple liquid to ward off enemies with its smell. Sounds more like a wanna be zombie skunk thing...! **

"**Hey Giles I think I found it!" Buffy yelled. Strolling over to Buffy and Willow, Giles picked up the book and skimmed the page Buffy was currently on.**

"**You're sure?" He asked staring intently on the creature.**

"**Well, He has all the nasty like looks and the purple shooting liquid thing is the same as what spike and I encountered so I'd say definitely yeah!" she let out with a disgusted tone in her voice.**

"**I'd better look further into this; in the mean time why don't you go home and get some rest you do look tired." He nodded to her and then returned to his desk, pulling out more volumes of books that looked similar to the one she found the monster in.**

**Walking out of the Magic Box, she rounded the street and jumped a fence to get to the back alley she usually took to get home. She suddenly had this feeling that she wasn't alone. Looking around she patted her sleeve to make sure her stake was still there. Grinning, she heard footsteps behind her; slowly turning she stopped to see a tall figure with bared fangs.**

"**Out so late at night little girl, you might want to be careful at what's lurking in the shadows!" the vampire stated with a roguish grin plastered on his face.**

**Grabbing the stake from her sleeve, "Do you usually have retarded comments before attempting to eat someone?" she smiled.**

"**Attempting? I'm gunna rip you to-." Unable to finish his remark due to a stake being plunged through his heart, Buffy clapped her hands together to get the remaining dust from them.**

**Clap, Clap, Clap**

**Unaware that this dark figure had been watching her the entire time, she got back in fight stance and looked around till she caught a glimpse of the one clapping. "Angel?"**

"**What are you doing here? She asked. **

"**I was just around. You know you really should go home like Giles said, you do look tired." He sounded concerned.**

"**You're spying on me!?" She glared at him, and put her hands on her hips. "You know Spike I would expect this out of but never in a million years would I of thought you too!" Buffy said disbelievingly. **

"**No, just was watching is more like it." He looked down at her. "I was just in the neighborhood, thought I'd just say hi, and I think you'll be happy to hear that I come bearing no bad news!" Angel jumped down from the ladder he was currently standing on to level with her.**

"**I need to be going home now; I need to check on Dawn." Now walking at a semi-fast pace Buffy was hoping to not further converse with Angel due to all the awkward and unwanted memories he stirred up.**

"**Well, I guess I'll be seeing you another time then?" Angel knew she wasn't comfortable around him anymore, and with that before she could reply he was gone.**

**Too wired with all the adrenaline pumping in her veins, her heart going at a gallop, she jumped a couple of gates and instead of going home met up with Spike as planned.**

**CEMETERY: SPIKES CRYPT.**

**Making her way to his crypt she could see that bad boy now. Spike with his bleach blonde hair gelled back in its usual style and the Black leather duster previously stolen from the last slayer he killed.**

"**I take it you've been standing there for a while." She glanced in his direction staring at the heap of cigarette butts on the ground. Smiling at him for his need to be on time.**

**Does he wanna see me that much or is it just that he's determined to be loyal or something? Well, whatever the case I'm just glad I didn't get stood up! WOAH, since when did this become a date!? Cause it's very much not one. Why is he getting me so worked up...? I hate this. **

"**Oh right then, just been making sure nothing tried to creep to early, love." Spike replied coolly. "You ready then?" He questioned her snapping her back from the daze she slipped into.**

"**Yeah, Go on ahead I'll catch up!" she smiled.**

"**Alright pet, suit yourself. I'll just be up the corner here if you need me." Standing there Buffy waited for Spike to go on ahead but instead he stared at the beauty standing before him. **

**Buffy waved her hands in front of his face and he tilted his head and smiled. Without a word he walked off around the corner.**

**Now bending down to the heap of cigarette butts she began counting them. Buffy whispering incoherently "23... 23 cigarettes!" Eyes now bulging out of her skull she was now glad he was undead or he'd have some serious health issues!**

**Now walking to catch up with Spike she saw him lying against a grave stone with a huge gash on his shoulder. Running towards him she ripped his shirt and dragged him to his crypt.**

"**It's just a scratch love, it'll be better tomorrow."**

"**No, it needs to be tended to!"**

**Brushing her fingers over his soft skin and the now bloodied wound on his shoulder, Spike winced in pain.**

"**May I?" Buffy asked, wanting permission to run alcohol over his cut.**

**Nodding Buffy now poured it onto the wound and watched Spike make painful expressions.**

**Once it was properly bandaged then did she stop treating him like a baby. **

"**Does it feel better?" Worry showed in her eyes.**

"**Yes pet, thank you." Spike now looked at the floor unsure of what to do or say.**

**Lifting his chin to look her in the eyes she moved closer to him. Now getting on her knees she hugged him to her. Shock was now coursing through Spike; this was everything he did not expect from her.**

"**Love, I'm not sure of what you want from me." Spike said questioningly.**

**Buffy looked up at Spike and began to stand up. "I want you."**

"**Beg your pardon? YOU want ME?"**

"**Is there anyone else in this room?" Now running her hands on his inner thigh, she noticed his pants tighten.**

"**Don't tease me, pet. Besides you could never want me, the monster remember?" Spike spat out having the feeling that she was just playing with his emotions from past experience.**

**With haste in his steps Spike opened the door to his crypt, "Please go, please." Staring into the night he dare not look into her eyes.**

"**No." Buffy shot in protest. "I will not leave."**

"**Why do you hurt me Buffy?" He looked at her with watery eyes.**

"**I'm not trying to, will you just hear me out?" she begged.**

**Spike walked over to his bed and sat down and waved his arm as in allowing her to speak.**

"**I've been having dreams." Buffy began.**

"**Everyone has dreams, this is bullocks."**

"**About you..." "I've been having a lot of dreams about you Spike." Cheeks now flushed at her now unkept secret.**

"**What kind of dreams?" Spike asked curiously.**

"**The kind that involve us not so clothed..." Buffy began playing with the red candle she picked up from the coffee table the wax dripping onto her fingertips.**

"**Why? You find me repulsive am I right though, pet?" He asked hurriedly.**

"**I don't, it's just easier to believe you are if I hear myself say it..." Buffy confessed.**

"**So what are you saying, love? You just want me to welcome you with open arms... after everything?" Spike cut himself off.**

**Buffy walked over to him and replied, "You don't have to love me."**

"**But I do, you're all I think about. You're all that I want, and need. But I don't want you if I can't have all of you." He placed his hand on her heart.**

**On the verge of tears Buffy hugged him tightly. "I'm yours William."**


End file.
